5 Common Patterns of Coercive Control in Relationships: What You Need to Know

Did you know that one in four women will experience domestic violence at some point in their lifetime? It’s a shocking statistic, and what’s worse is that many people are living in controlling, abusive relationships without even realizing it. You might be thinking “if I was in an abusive relationship, I would know it.” But the…

How Your Attachment Style Impacts Your Relationships

Have you ever wondered how your attachment style impacts your relationships? Maybe people have called you clingy* or perhaps you only want to be with someone until they seem to want the same. Take it from me, we’ve all got our issues. With that said, allow me to provide you with your daily dose of…

PTSD: Dissociation & Derealization

In the wake of trauma, many people develop PTSD, or in the case of sustained or repeated trauma, it could become Complex PTSD. Those around us (who we need more than ever) will often distance themselves, mostly because they don’t know what to do. People are terrified to step into another’s hell, even for a…

This is My Reality Now

CW: mentions of domestic and sexual violence It was 2010. My best friend had just assaulted me. I didn’t understand what had happened and why he wouldn’t stop no matter how many times I had said no and pushed him away. It was a deep betrayal and a traumatic event that affected me deeply. Overcoming…

Pet Sitting with TrustedHousesitters: Everything You Need to Know

In 2015, I moved all of my worldly possessions into storage and took off for London to begin my journey as an international pet sitter. Over the next 18 months, I worked remotely while living in 7 different countries and experiencing life like never before. From snowshoeing in the Austrian Alps to strolling through the…

Mental Illness in Steampunk

This article was set to be published in a Steampunk magazine back in 2014, but alas, the lost funding before the issue was released. I wrote it back in 2013 and rediscovered it during some housecleaning. It fits with Mental Health Awareness Month. I hope you find it interesting. Mental illness. The words alone conjure…

Psychiatric Injury vs. Mental Illness

Over the past decade, I’ve been amazed at how the conversation around mental health has evolved. I remember back in 2011 after a colleague assaulted me, another colleague-turned-friend called Jaymee was very supportive. Through conversations with her, I was able to call the encounter what it was: sexual assault. Jaymee also openly talked about her…

The Trauma Bond

In May 2011, I published a post about the “Betrayal Bond,” also know as the “Trauma Bond.” It’s also known as Stockholm Syndrome, but unlike that suggests, it’s not people bonding with their kidnappers. It’s an incredibly strong bond with one’s abusers. The Trauma Bond is often the reason women can’t leave a relationship rife…

Textbook Abuse

The trial between Amber Heard and Johnny Depp has been difficult to watch, as I suspect it has been for all survivors of male violence. In fact, some male friends that are survivors of domestic violence with women perpetrators are finding it difficult to watch, too. They see their abuser in Amber and women see…

The #MeToo Memoirs

When I was in the early days of recovery from sexual violence, I read all day, every day. I read and read and read and read everything I could about Rape Trauma Syndrome (RTS), rape culture, consent culture, predators, sociopaths, and especially survivor stories. I devoured the content on the Yes Means Yes blog. This…