Last week I saw Robert B. Weide’s incredible documentary Kurt Vonnegut: Unstuck in Time. It brought me back to my twenties when I voraciously read 13 Vonnegut books back to back. He is utterly brilliant. When I heard that he had died in 2007, I remember saying, “How is the sun still shining or world…
Category: Personal
Responsible Community Response
In August 2012, I published a post on my former O. M. Grey blog, “Caught in the Cogs,” that outlines how to respond to an accusation of sexual violence so as not to further traumatize the victim. It contains examples of what to say and what not to say. The things I wrote and experienced…
How To Find Authentic Connections With C-PTSD
If you struggle with C-PTSD, then you understand how difficult it can be to let go of the learned behaviors your brain developed to protect you in survival mode. On the road to recovery, many of us seek out genuine relationships but aren’t quite sure how to find success in them. There’s a ton of…
Use Radical Acceptance to Help You Cope with C-PTSD
Radical acceptance was probably the most valuable tool in my mental health toolbox while in the worst part of my recovery, and it works still to this day. The point is to accept reality how it is right now rather than hoping things will get better or wishing it was somehow different. Step One: Abandon…
If You Could Do Anything…
When living with PTSD, depression, anxiety, or another mental illness/psychiatric injury, it’s important to learn tools to cope with your condition. Over the past decade, I’ve taught myself several. Some I discovered through a Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) diary and others I developed myself. There was an eight-year period where I cried virtually every day….
PTSD: Dissociation & Derealization
In the wake of trauma, many people develop PTSD, or in the case of sustained or repeated trauma, it could become Complex PTSD. Those around us (who we need more than ever) will often distance themselves, mostly because they don’t know what to do. People are terrified to step into another’s hell, even for a…
This is My Reality Now
CW: mentions of domestic and sexual violence It was 2010. My best friend had just assaulted me. I didn’t understand what had happened and why he wouldn’t stop no matter how many times I had said no and pushed him away. It was a deep betrayal and a traumatic event that affected me deeply. Overcoming…
Pet Sitting with TrustedHousesitters: Everything You Need to Know
In 2015, I moved all of my worldly possessions into storage and took off for London to begin my journey as an international pet sitter. Over the next 18 months, I worked remotely while living in 7 different countries and experiencing life like never before. From snowshoeing in the Austrian Alps to strolling through the…
Psychiatric Injury vs. Mental Illness
Over the past decade, I’ve been amazed at how the conversation around mental health has evolved. I remember back in 2011 after a colleague assaulted me, another colleague-turned-friend called Jaymee was very supportive. Through conversations with her, I was able to call the encounter what it was: sexual assault. Jaymee also openly talked about her…
The Trauma Bond
In May 2011, I published a post about the “Betrayal Bond,” also know as the “Trauma Bond.” It’s also known as Stockholm Syndrome, but unlike that suggests, it’s not people bonding with their kidnappers. It’s an incredibly strong bond with one’s abusers. The Trauma Bond is often the reason women can’t leave a relationship rife…