Love Bombing & Oxytocin Addiction

Love bombing is a term widely used within the context of a romantic relationship. It’s essentially a form of manipulation that attempts to artificially create intimacy. When someone love bombs you, it means they lavish you with intense affection, attention, and praise in an attempt to win your trust and affection early in the relationship….

Manage Your Emotions With This Simple Tool

Last week I published a post called “3 Tips to Help You Cope With PTSD” in which I listed three distress tolerance tools: Wise Mind, Name Your Emotions, and Radical Acceptance. Today I’d like to focus a little more on Name Your Emotions. Naming emotions is a very useful and helpful exercise. It allows you…

So It Goes.

Last week I saw Robert B. Weide’s incredible documentary Kurt Vonnegut: Unstuck in Time. It brought me back to my twenties when I voraciously read 13 Vonnegut books back to back. He is utterly brilliant. When I heard that he had died in 2007, I remember saying, “How is the sun still shining or world…

5 Tips to Heal Generational Trauma

When we think of trauma, we think of something that happens in the present. Perhaps someone witnesses a murder or is the victim of a home invasion. Or perhaps someone grows up with an alcoholic parent or has experienced sexual violence. However, there’s also something called “generational trauma” that can cause just as much damage…

Childhood Shame Can Affect Adult Relationships

Do you ever feel like you’re not good enough? That no matter what you do, you can’t please anyone? If so, you’re not alone. Many people struggle with feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. But where do these feelings come from? Maybe you were always the ‘bad’ kid in school. Maybe you were never good enough…

Surviving Trauma from Sexual Violence

When you’ve been sexually assaulted, it feels as though your world has been turned upside down. Everything you know and believe has been shattered. The person who violated your body and mind now occupies a space inside your head that you can never get rid of. You try to push the memories away, but they…

Responsible Community Response

In August 2012, I published a post on my former O. M. Grey blog, “Caught in the Cogs,” that outlines how to respond to an accusation of sexual violence so as not to further traumatize the victim. It contains examples of what to say and what not to say. The things I wrote and experienced…

How To Find Authentic Connections With C-PTSD

If you struggle with C-PTSD, then you understand how difficult it can be to let go of the learned behaviors your brain developed to protect you in survival mode. On the road to recovery, many of us seek out genuine relationships but aren’t quite sure how to find success in them. There’s a ton of…

Use Radical Acceptance to Help You Cope with C-PTSD

Radical acceptance was probably the most valuable tool in my mental health toolbox while in the worst part of my recovery, and it works still to this day. The point is to accept reality how it is right now rather than hoping things will get better or wishing it was somehow different. Step One: Abandon…

5 Common Patterns of Coercive Control in Relationships: What You Need to Know

Did you know that one in four women will experience domestic violence at some point in their lifetime? It’s a shocking statistic, and what’s worse is that many people are living in controlling, abusive relationships without even realizing it. You might be thinking “if I was in an abusive relationship, I would know it.” But the…