Surviving Trauma from Sexual Violence

When you’ve been sexually assaulted, it feels as though your world has been turned upside down. Everything you know and believe has been shattered. The person who violated your body and mind now occupies a space inside your head that you can never get rid of. You try to push the memories away, but they…

Responsible Community Response

In August 2012, I published a post on my former O. M. Grey blog, “Caught in the Cogs,” that outlines how to respond to an accusation of sexual violence so as not to further traumatize the victim. It contains examples of what to say and what not to say. The things I wrote and experienced…

The #MeToo Memoirs

When I was in the early days of recovery from sexual violence, I read all day, every day. I read and read and read and read everything I could about Rape Trauma Syndrome (RTS), rape culture, consent culture, predators, sociopaths, and especially survivor stories. I devoured the content on the Yes Means Yes blog. This…

Black Lives Still Matter

The current revolution in Portland all started with the Black Lives Matter movement, and it still very much is about the Black Lives Matter movement, although many POC feel the focus has shifted away from the BLM movement. It seems like the focus hasn’t been shifted as much as broadened. (Granted, I have a very…

Resurrecting Avalon Revamped

“Every once in a while I get the opportunity to read a piece of work that makes me think, ‘This is the one the will put this author on the map of the reading world.’ Avalon Revamped is that book for O. M. Grey. It deals with some horrific truths and should be read by…

Of Course, #MeToo

The past few months have been many things. Inspiring. Validating. Triggering. Infuriating. Gratifying. Of course, I’m talking about the growing #MeToo and #TimesUp movements. At long, long last, survivors of sexual violence, abuse, and assault in all its forms are not only being heard, they’re being believed. Although I’ve been moved to write about this many…

The Unsafety Net…

Must read article in The Atlantic. Excerpt: In December 2012, an Icelandic woman named Thorlaug Agustsdottir discovered a Facebook group called “Men are better than women.” One image she found there, Thorlaug wrote to us this summer in an email, “was of a young woman naked chained to pipes or an oven in what looked…

It’s Not Enough, But It’s a Great Start

Excellent article. Whereas I can see McEwan’s point that we’re shifting from victim blaming to bystander blaming, I do think that promoting bystander intervention is a positive step to put an end to rape culture and thereby an end to the prevalence of sexual assault. Certainly the rapist is the only one ultimately responsible for…

Emma Threatened for #HeForShe Campaign

Emma Watson, actress best known for her role as Hermione in the Harry Potter series, has recently become a Goodwill Ambassador for the UN. I’m continually impressed and inspired by both her and Daniel Radcliffe with what they’ve done since HP. They are talented performers and inspiring people. Her speech at the UN and her…