This is My Reality Now

CW: mentions of domestic and sexual violence It was 2010. My best friend had just assaulted me. I didn’t understand what had happened and why he wouldn’t stop no matter how many times I had said no and pushed him away. It was a deep betrayal and a traumatic event that affected me deeply. Overcoming…

Misogyny Defined

Nearly 10 years ago, I wrote a post on my alter-ego’s blog Caught in the Cogs called “Misogyny Defined.” I’d like to share that post with you today…. The meaning of the word “misogyny” is literally “hatred of women.” Although that is the actual definition of the word, most misogynists think they love women. Misogyny…

Mental Illness in Steampunk

This article was set to be published in a Steampunk magazine back in 2014, but alas, the lost funding before the issue was released. I wrote it back in 2013 and rediscovered it during some housecleaning. It fits with Mental Health Awareness Month. I hope you find it interesting. Mental illness. The words alone conjure…

Psychiatric Injury vs. Mental Illness

Over the past decade, I’ve been amazed at how the conversation around mental health has evolved. I remember back in 2011 after a colleague assaulted me, another colleague-turned-friend called Jaymee was very supportive. Through conversations with her, I was able to call the encounter what it was: sexual assault. Jaymee also openly talked about her…

The Trauma Bond

In May 2011, I published a post about the “Betrayal Bond,” also know as the “Trauma Bond.” It’s also known as Stockholm Syndrome, but unlike that suggests, it’s not people bonding with their kidnappers. It’s an incredibly strong bond with one’s abusers. The Trauma Bond is often the reason women can’t leave a relationship rife…

Misogynistic Myths

I’m quickly growing weary of people defending Johnny Depp. My mind spins as I try to sleep. Victim-blaming rhetoric bounces around in my brain. The words I read online are the same ones people said to me when I spoke out. Insomnia leads to loss of focus, which then leads to hyper-focus. I drop onto…

The #MeToo Memoirs

When I was in the early days of recovery from sexual violence, I read all day, every day. I read and read and read and read everything I could about Rape Trauma Syndrome (RTS), rape culture, consent culture, predators, sociopaths, and especially survivor stories. I devoured the content on the Yes Means Yes blog. This…

Gaslighting

The ongoing saga between Amber Heard and Johnny Depp has filled the news over the past few weeks. Whoever’s side you believe, I think it’s undeniable theirs was an abusive, toxic relationship. With descriptions of physical violence, verbal and emotional abuse, and defecating in their shared bed, it sounds like a nightmare. Regardless of who…