Category: Memoir

  • PTSD: Dissociation & Derealization

    PTSD: Dissociation & Derealization

    In the wake of trauma, many people develop PTSD, or in the case of sustained or repeated trauma, it could become Complex PTSD. Those around us (who we need more than ever) will often distance themselves, mostly because they don’t know what to do. People are terrified to step into another’s hell, even for a…

  • This is My Reality Now

    This is My Reality Now

    CW: mentions of domestic and sexual violence It was 2010. My best friend had just assaulted me. I didn’t understand what had happened and why he wouldn’t stop no matter how many times I had said no and pushed him away. It was a deep betrayal and a traumatic event that affected me deeply. Overcoming…

  • Misogyny Defined

    Misogyny Defined

    Nearly 10 years ago, I wrote a post on my alter-ego’s blog Caught in the Cogs called “Misogyny Defined.” I’d like to share that post with you today…. The meaning of the word “misogyny” is literally “hatred of women.” Although that is the actual definition of the word, most misogynists think they love women. Misogyny…

  • Pet Sitting with TrustedHousesitters: Everything You Need to Know

    Pet Sitting with TrustedHousesitters: Everything You Need to Know

    In 2015, I moved all of my worldly possessions into storage and took off for London to begin my journey as an international pet sitter. Over the next 18 months, I worked remotely while living in 7 different countries and experiencing life like never before. From snowshoeing in the Austrian Alps to strolling through the…

  • Psychiatric Injury vs. Mental Illness

    Psychiatric Injury vs. Mental Illness

    Over the past decade, I’ve been amazed at how the conversation around mental health has evolved. I remember back in 2011 after a colleague assaulted me, another colleague-turned-friend called Jaymee was very supportive. Through conversations with her, I was able to call the encounter what it was: sexual assault. Jaymee also openly talked about her…

  • The Trauma Bond

    The Trauma Bond

    In May 2011, I published a post about the “Betrayal Bond,” also know as the “Trauma Bond.” It’s also known as Stockholm Syndrome, but unlike that suggests, it’s not people bonding with their kidnappers. It’s an incredibly strong bond with one’s abusers. The Trauma Bond is often the reason women can’t leave a relationship rife…

  • Misogynistic Myths

    Misogynistic Myths

    I’m quickly growing weary of people defending Johnny Depp. My mind spins as I try to sleep. Victim-blaming rhetoric bounces around in my brain. The words I read online are the same ones people said to me when I spoke out. Insomnia leads to loss of focus, which then leads to hyper-focus. I drop onto…

  • Textbook Abuse

    Textbook Abuse

    The trial between Amber Heard and Johnny Depp has been difficult to watch, as I suspect it has been for all survivors of male violence. In fact, some male friends that are survivors of domestic violence with women perpetrators are finding it difficult to watch, too. They see their abuser in Amber and women see…

  • The #MeToo Memoirs

    The #MeToo Memoirs

    When I was in the early days of recovery from sexual violence, I read all day, every day. I read and read and read and read everything I could about Rape Trauma Syndrome (RTS), rape culture, consent culture, predators, sociopaths, and especially survivor stories. I devoured the content on the Yes Means Yes blog. This…

  • Gaslighting

    Gaslighting

    The ongoing saga between Amber Heard and Johnny Depp has filled the news over the past few weeks. Whoever’s side you believe, I think it’s undeniable theirs was an abusive, toxic relationship. With descriptions of physical violence, verbal and emotional abuse, and defecating in their shared bed, it sounds like a nightmare. Regardless of who…