Surviving Trauma from Sexual Violence

When you’ve been sexually assaulted, it feels as though your world has been turned upside down. Everything you know and believe has been shattered. The person who violated your body and mind now occupies a space inside your head that you can never get rid of. You try to push the memories away, but they…

Responsible Community Response

In August 2012, I published a post on my former O. M. Grey blog, “Caught in the Cogs,” that outlines how to respond to an accusation of sexual violence so as not to further traumatize the victim. It contains examples of what to say and what not to say. The things I wrote and experienced…

How To Find Authentic Connections With C-PTSD

If you struggle with C-PTSD, then you understand how difficult it can be to let go of the learned behaviors your brain developed to protect you in survival mode. On the road to recovery, many of us seek out genuine relationships but aren’t quite sure how to find success in them. There’s a ton of…

Use Radical Acceptance to Help You Cope with C-PTSD

Radical acceptance was probably the most valuable tool in my mental health toolbox while in the worst part of my recovery, and it works still to this day. The point is to accept reality how it is right now rather than hoping things will get better or wishing it was somehow different. Step One: Abandon…

5 Common Patterns of Coercive Control in Relationships: What You Need to Know

Did you know that one in four women will experience domestic violence at some point in their lifetime? It’s a shocking statistic, and what’s worse is that many people are living in controlling, abusive relationships without even realizing it. You might be thinking “if I was in an abusive relationship, I would know it.” But the…

If You Could Do Anything…

When living with PTSD, depression, anxiety, or another mental illness/psychiatric injury, it’s important to learn tools to cope with your condition. Over the past decade, I’ve taught myself several. Some I discovered through a Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) diary and others I developed myself. There was an eight-year period where I cried virtually every day….

How Your Attachment Style Impacts Your Relationships

Have you ever wondered how your attachment style impacts your relationships? Maybe people have called you clingy* or perhaps you only want to be with someone until they seem to want the same. Take it from me, we’ve all got our issues. With that said, allow me to provide you with your daily dose of…

PTSD: Dissociation & Derealization

In the wake of trauma, many people develop PTSD, or in the case of sustained or repeated trauma, it could become Complex PTSD. Those around us (who we need more than ever) will often distance themselves, mostly because they don’t know what to do. People are terrified to step into another’s hell, even for a…

This is My Reality Now

CW: mentions of domestic and sexual violence It was 2010. My best friend had just assaulted me. I didn’t understand what had happened and why he wouldn’t stop no matter how many times I had said no and pushed him away. It was a deep betrayal and a traumatic event that affected me deeply. Overcoming…

Misogyny Defined

Nearly 10 years ago, I wrote a post on my alter-ego’s blog Caught in the Cogs called “Misogyny Defined.” I’d like to share that post with you today…. The meaning of the word “misogyny” is literally “hatred of women.” Although that is the actual definition of the word, most misogynists think they love women. Misogyny…