Crying in the Purple Rain

“Little Red Corvette” was the first 45 I ever bought. It got it as an Easter gift. Well, I got it because I found a plastic egg with a little slip of paper inside that said “45 of your choice.”

Yes. My mother still had me hunting Easter eggs at 14. Even at 16! So she made it relevant by putting in money and notes like that to milk a few more years of childhood memories.

My heart stopped for a moment when I heard of Prince’s death. It was a shock. His music meant so much to me in the 80’s, although I didn’t follow his career after that, as music became less and less important to me over the years. At the time, his lyrics helped me accept my own sexuality, and they (contrary to the church) helped me realize sexuality was natural, healthy, and fun.

Since his death, this verse of “Purple Rain” has been stuck inside my head, as it’s quite apropos for a recently lost, special friendship.

I never wanted to be your weekend lover.
I only wanted to be some kind of friend.
Baby, I could never steal you from another.
It’s such a shame our friendship had to end.

Although I miss my special friend so much, he’s proven to be someone very different than the man he showed me for six months. Trust would be very difficult to repair.

Most people are doing the best they can, and we all make mistakes, accept bad advice, and behave poorly at times.

However, some people are too dangerous or toxic for one’s well-being, and I’ve repeatedly learned the lesson that the past is best left there.

I’ve processed anger on this blog over that loss and his behavior, and I would’ve welcomed a proper talk to clear up any misunderstandings for a while; but my peace and sanity are too important to entertain that possibility anymore.

If he (or other former friends/lover, except for The Rapist) decided to reach out to apologize and attempt mend our broken relationship, of course I would be open, kind, and compassionate, as that’s who I am. I would open my heart again.

Still, it’s best to let the past remain there and keep stepping forward.

May you all find peace.


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