When Love Hurts: What To Do When You Can’t Get Out

When you first fall in love with someone, it can feel like nothing can go wrong. The butterflies in your stomach, the giddy feeling whenever they call or text you. You’re head over heels and can’t wait to see them again. We all hope that the person we’re dating isn’t dangerous or an abuser, but…

Childhood Shame Can Affect Adult Relationships

Do you ever feel like you’re not good enough? That no matter what you do, you can’t please anyone? If so, you’re not alone. Many people struggle with feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. But where do these feelings come from? Maybe you were always the ‘bad’ kid in school. Maybe you were never good enough…

Surviving Trauma from Sexual Violence

When you’ve been sexually assaulted, it feels as though your world has been turned upside down. Everything you know and believe has been shattered. The person who violated your body and mind now occupies a space inside your head that you can never get rid of. You try to push the memories away, but they…

5 Common Patterns of Coercive Control in Relationships: What You Need to Know

Did you know that one in four women will experience domestic violence at some point in their lifetime? It’s a shocking statistic, and what’s worse is that many people are living in controlling, abusive relationships without even realizing it. You might be thinking “if I was in an abusive relationship, I would know it.” But the…

How Your Attachment Style Impacts Your Relationships

Have you ever wondered how your attachment style impacts your relationships? Maybe people have called you clingy* or perhaps you only want to be with someone until they seem to want the same. Take it from me, we’ve all got our issues. With that said, allow me to provide you with your daily dose of…

Misogyny Defined

Nearly 10 years ago, I wrote a post on my alter-ego’s blog Caught in the Cogs called “Misogyny Defined.” I’d like to share that post with you today…. The meaning of the word “misogyny” is literally “hatred of women.” Although that is the actual definition of the word, most misogynists think they love women. Misogyny…

Psychiatric Injury vs. Mental Illness

Over the past decade, I’ve been amazed at how the conversation around mental health has evolved. I remember back in 2011 after a colleague assaulted me, another colleague-turned-friend called Jaymee was very supportive. Through conversations with her, I was able to call the encounter what it was: sexual assault. Jaymee also openly talked about her…

The Trauma Bond

In May 2011, I published a post about the “Betrayal Bond,” also know as the “Trauma Bond.” It’s also known as Stockholm Syndrome, but unlike that suggests, it’s not people bonding with their kidnappers. It’s an incredibly strong bond with one’s abusers. The Trauma Bond is often the reason women can’t leave a relationship rife…

Misogynistic Myths

I’m quickly growing weary of people defending Johnny Depp. My mind spins as I try to sleep. Victim-blaming rhetoric bounces around in my brain. The words I read online are the same ones people said to me when I spoke out. Insomnia leads to loss of focus, which then leads to hyper-focus. I drop onto…

Textbook Abuse

The trial between Amber Heard and Johnny Depp has been difficult to watch, as I suspect it has been for all survivors of male violence. In fact, some male friends that are survivors of domestic violence with women perpetrators are finding it difficult to watch, too. They see their abuser in Amber and women see…