I’ve gotten several messages and emails lamenting the death of O. M. Grey or to express a sadness that I’m quitting writing…only I’m not quitting writing.
I got so many messages, in fact, I doubted my own memory of what I wrote just two days ago, so I went back to “Caught in the Cogs” and reread the “RIP OMG” post.
Turns out. I’m not crazy.
I didn’t say I was quitting writing. Not even once.
I guess I truly shouldn’t be as utterly astounded as I am. People have proven again and again (and again) that they don’t read, and I’m not just talking about my sales figures here.
People don’t read what’s on the page. They read what they want to read and then comment based on misinterpretation or flat out ignorance.
Facebook is notorious for this, and I’m as guilty as any. I have commented on articles based solely on their titles or someone else’s (mis)interpretation or a quick scan of all those too-many-words-to-bother. I have. Totally.
So I get it. You’re busy. Tired. Looking for entertainment. Wanting to get back to the cat pictures. Whatever.
You partially see the words on the page and partially the words in your own head or heart.
What the article **actually** said is this:
“The woman behind O. M. Grey is very alive, indeed, but this post officially marks the end of actively promoting and engaging under this pen name.”
“For the past decade-plus, I’ve given it my all, even through devastating assaults and crippling aftermath, I’ve plugged along the best I could.
The time has come, however, to give up…at least give up on the Steampunk Community, and by extension, O. M. Grey.”
“I’m done. I’m leaving Steampunk, perhaps even fandom as a whole. I’ve little interest in writing anymore, as I have nothing new to say that I haven’t said over and over again. When I do have something to say in the future, it will be under my real name: Christine Rose. I might have another book in me, perhaps more short stories or poetry…time will tell.”
Please note this phrase: “When I do have something to say in the future, it will be under my real name: Christine Rose.”
But wait! There’s more!
“Please do not mistake this for me being silenced. I will never be silent again. I just won’t be speaking through this blog or under the moniker Olivia Grey anymore.”
“If you’re interested in continuing to read my words and hear my voice, I urge you to follow me under my real name, Christine Rose…”
How was any of that interpreted as quitting writing?
This is the end of a pseudonym, people. I have nothing to say now because I wrote *three* novels last year. Because I wrote six short stories and countless articles, just last year.
I’m tired. I need a break. I’m broke. I need a job, so I’m focusing on that for awhile.
No where anywhere did I say I was quitting writing.
I’m not giving up on myself. I’m giving up on Steampunk. I’m giving up on the hypocritical community that says they’re “serious about sexual assault” out of one said of their mouth while they cheer on a rapist out of the other side, celebrating him with guest of honor status.
Fuck that, and fuck them.
That’s what I’m giving up. If you think killing OMG is a way to silence me, you’ve got a serious other think coming. Seriously.
I’m tired. Really tired.
Especially tired of shit like this.
Some judge me as cynical and bitter and whatever. I really, *really* don’t care. I quite literally have nothing left to lose. All I have to say to them is this: unless you can claim at least half of the accomplishments and half of the trauma & betrayal outlined on the pages of ““>Caught in the Cogs,” fuck off. Those people spouting such judgments have no idea what it’s like to struggle with PTSD or trauma recovery or a destroyed career because of assault or betrayal by those you unfortunately trusted.
Until they do, and I hope they never do, they have no right to judge me or my decisions.
Even if they do know what it’s like, they still have no right to judge my decisions for me and my career.
It’s times like these that I want to never write another word…because they’re obviously not read anyway.
Don’t want to read my posts? Your prerogative! No one’s forcing you to read or comment, but for my sanity please don’t comment on my work or life until you know what the fuck you’re taking about…
…which, interestingly enough, is accomplished by reading the actual words on the actual page.
Yes. Every single one.
What a fucking concept.