10 Technologies Vampires Could Use to Lure Their Prey


Considering how profoundly it’s changed our lives, it’s small wonder that high tech has infiltrated the furthest reaches of society, and beyond. Consider the vampire. Once resigned to roaming the shadows in search of victims, save for the occasional flight of fancy in the form of a bat, these denizens of the dark no longer have to rely purely on pot luck for their dinners. There are at least 10 technologies that vampires can use to lure their prey:

  1. Text messaging – Silently, with mere swipes of his touch pad, the vampire’s intended is made aware of his intentions: I vant to meet you for dinner, my dah-ling. 
  2. Email – Gather a mailing list from the Red Cross, and send out a forward to an entire contact list. Sit back and wait for the dinner bell to ring.
  3. Facebook – What could be better than a whole network of tender necks at one’s beck and call, providing updates of their every move?
  4. Instant Messaging – For one-on-one engagements with his prey, the 21st century vampire can keep in touch on his desktop and visper sveet nothings all night long.
  5. Forums – Goth and vampire sites would be a good start, of course. The modern-day vampire will now be part spirit, part animal, and part troll.
  6. YouTube – It’s hard to beat a well-produced video presentation for promoting yourself. Add a smooth techno or death metal track to add some bite, and you’re good to go. Bwahaha.
  7. Twitter –  Imagine that. Technology that now makes it possible for a bat to tweet. Make those 140 characters count, #Count. Those retweets will be like echoes in the night.
  8. Chat Rooms – Pick a group, or start your own, and strike up a little conversation with someone on your bloody buddy list.
  9. Search Engine Listing – Let them know how they can find a dashing, dapper, debonair, dentally-challenged dude. Yes, that’s right. We’re talking about Googling ghouls.
  10. Reality TV – Vampirettes, anyone? Or Who Wants to Marry a Bloodthirsty Beast That Sleeps All Day and Goes Out All Night? Have we got a contestant for you.

4 Comments Add yours

  1. How about adaptive camouflage? Tracking bugs?

  2. A few of these do pose problems specific to the undead:

    1-4 & 7. Those two inch finger nails make typing difficult, particularly on touch screen based smart phones.
    6 & 10. Since vampires can not be captured on video, one must glamour a hapless human into doing the talking.

    Additionally, older vampires find it hard adapting to new fangled technologies and tend to crush the phone in frustration. And getting the cable man to install your internet can be difficult when your foyer smells from the decomposing bodies buried in the cellar. But again, a little glamour goes a long way.

  3. Brad Swift says:

    Awesome post. May need to use some of these in future books.

    1. christinerose says:

      Thank you!

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